I'm scared

I'm scared Scared of me  Scared of you  Scared of us Why show such kindness Such care  As if we could be  But we can't I know that  But still it's addicting  Those msg filled with love and care  If  I took a leap of faith  That could be all mine But what if you reject me  And I fall back into my abyss  Now I have tasted it  I don't think I can live without it You have made me addicted  Addicted to you  To your love Your kindness  Your warmth  And it's scary I'm scared

 I built a fortress  My own home That helped me to block out the light  Always and forever  But it seems to breaking  Slowly little cracks showing No matter how hard I cover them up  Another one will come  I am ship that had been sailing fine But now has wholes where water floods Even if I close every the gap I can't erase it  Still I will have a water  Still the light seeps thru  And there's nothing I can do  But I must do something  I can't let u ruin my hard work I can't let u break down my walls Only to see how broken I am I won't  I won't  Even if it means pushing you away Hurting you  I'll do it  So you don't have to see how i am falling apart I don't want u to care Cause it hurts  It hurts to care  It hurts to love  It hurts to live  And I'm falling apart  But I won't drag u down with me